Just mostly stayed in bed the whole day, just can't deal with people right now.

We're a little extra depressed today, aren't we? 

Just 2:37 am

Sadness hits different in these hours. I feel extra sad when I see saddening stuff. Is it because I am not supposed to be awake? Then why can't I sleep? Can I go out and take a short walk? Is curfew still on? I want to take a walk and calm my mind. Fuck corona virus. The devastation around the world. The inequity. The unfairness. The desire to do something but the lack of power. The lack of will. Why did this happen in the first place? Why does human life even exist? I mean, sure, it's fine for human existence but to add consciousness into these vessels? Making them question anything? Fuck everything, really. Living is fucking exhausting.

Just Getting Closer and Closer

In my dream this morning I tried to overdose

Suicidal when awake,

Suicidal when asleep

What do I make out of this

Just Probably Still Won't

If I'm not gonna kill myself this year I'm gonna hate myself even more.