Just Germaning a Couple Paragraphs

Hab heute mit jemandem getroffen. In einem Café. Hab mein Deutsch geübt. 

Ich zeichnete. Es war schwer. Ich will verbessern.

Just Physical Pains

It's been constant during my menstrual cycle. The upper left part of my back. The sudden pinching heart pain that goes away after a second. Right now it's by the back of my neck, lower left side. This snapping part of my left collar bone by my neck, like a vein or a nerve, since 2016. Sometimes I feel like my heart's not beating (it is) and I try to jerk my foot or leg to snap out of that trance, and that little surprised feeling when someone jump-scares you comes. Yeah, what is that feeling that you're constantly being jump-scared? Anxiety? Lmao

Every time I mention these stuff to a doc they have no idea what I'm talking about since my vitals and tests are normal. Man. I guess I'm sticking to mindfulness and therapy techniques or whatever. Probably just anxiety or whatever.

Just a Dream with an Annoying Little Shit

Just had a dream where I just wanted to be an NPC. I think it was a graduating high school kind of setting, a setting I don't want to go back to, because that's when all my mental health downfall began. In the dream I wanted to go to the guidance counselor to discuss this, how I'm feeling depressed, but the buildings were like malls, and it was hard to get around. I had a "don't bother me" face. I remember I had stuff left in the classroom. I remember that Kim M. was there and I was unintentionally mean. I remember I had a boyfriend and I was also unintentionally mean. Then there was the black bird guy who was being an annoying little shit. Tried to get me angry because I was emotionless. I guess that was his way to cheer me up. I remember being lifted up to the ceiling and got a little mad. I tried to walk around trying to avoid everybody I know.