Just Had a Trip

Just got home from Switzerland. No words...

Just Work Occurrences

Uploaded a new video. Currently it has 11 views. I don't think it'll get higher anymore. I'm giving up. 

https://youtu.be/sIfapyuJ_Zk 

My left heel kind of hurts. 

Last week he was sick. He only has a bit of a cough now. We think it's covid. I was kinda sick too. Slight headache from nasal pressure. Not that sick to skip work though. My coworker tho, she's been out since last Thursday. 

My seatmate at the break room was substituting her. She has a different approach than my senpai. I'm too "I don't give that much of a shit" to tell her how we do things. I mean, I don't like it when they're kinda... Like I feel like I'm slow, you know? So they take the boxes next to me. My copium is that, if they take the boxes, that just means less work for me. Win-win. Also, last Friday, I spilled ink on the mat. Fck me. Lol

Just Girl Math

For my first salary I spent 120.25 euros worth of skin care and 48 euros for a massage which in total is 3.16 euros more than my salary XD

Just Another Snowy Dream

Part of my dream just now was that we were at a classroom that's like a glasshouse or a greenhouse and the students on the right side were Filipino and when it started to snow every Filipino was happy and wowed and stopped the class to go outside and enjoy the snow.

Just a Snowy Dream

I dreamt that it was snowing (the setting was at my home in the Philippines) and that I was gonna be late for work (my job here in Germany). Was trying to get ready as fast as I could. Was considering not taking a shower XD I took a quick one. Searched for socks, which was shelved like those in malls. Was considering a taxi, faster than a bicycle. I woke up, looked at the time, almost 7 am. Phew, not gonna be late. Looked at the weather. Light snow. Looks out the window. Nothing. Lol

Just a Silent Agony

I want to kill myself. 

This food stuck in my esophagus sensation is fckng annoying. Day 3 of it. 9th dose of Acarizax. I want to cut. (I'm probably not. Just fantasizing it bad)

Just Already November

I have a job! I worked for two weeks already.  I'm getting used to it. 

I love autumn. The view to and from work is amazing. I go through a forest. I'm burning a lot of calories. I think I'm making up with it with my food lol I should stop so I finally lose some weight.

Just My Blessings for Today

1. Went to the neurologist. They tested my ulnar nerve. 

a. Everything's normal. 

b. I survived with only speaking German . Didn't ask if they could speak English, didn't say that my German isn't good. Wow.

c. Biked in the rain. Survived it thanks to Yuta's rain poncho. Was able to arrive there.

 2. Got a job offer. I'm heading there tomorrow to see what it's going to be like.

3. My heels are heeling (healing).

4. I have a goal of maybe studying Musikinformatik. (Am I hopeful?)

I guess that's it. 

Just Appointments

Tomorrow I have an ear, nose and throat doctor appointment. The next day I have an orthopedic doctor appointment. Next week I have a dentist appointment.

I still don't have a job. 

I'm playing too much pico park.

Speaking of games, Clair Obscur. Man, what a game. Lune's death stare at the end. Verso's ending. Everything. Chef's kiss. I want to play it again. But, I want to play silk song too.

Just a September Journal

So last week I went to Edeka to apply, but the hiring sign changed to a position I didn't want to apply for. I panicked, hid by the coffee section, texted my husband, telling him I want to come home (it's just a 10 min walk), picked up his Amazon package at the post, and cried in his arms when I got home.

I want to earn money to buy stuff, but every time I take a step towards getting a job, I get depressed. 

Have I mentioned that our trip to Japan last July solidified my husband's resolve to live there? Now he has plans to be there in 6 months. He's studying his Japanese intensively. I just got my school certificates recognized Annerkenung) because I was thinking of getting an Ausbildung, which usually lasts for 3 years. I was self studying German for a long time (still am). Am I supposed to think that all of those were all for nothing? Am I supposed to focus on Japanese now?

Anyway, I clicked on an ad from Duolingo. Two, in fact. First was Finch, a productivity app. I was really productive during the first week of using it. I guess it made me be consistent with learning German, too. The second one was Mimo. It's like Duolingo, but for programming. It's fun. I'm learning. A lot of it is reviewing what I learned from years ago. Maybe I could work as a programmer? I'm considering it a bit. I guess I just need to finish the course. 

My left ear hole is really itchy. It's been 7 years now. Ugh.

Just Want to Meow

I feel like shit. (Probably from my period)

Just the 8th Month of 2025

Hey, it's August. This blog isn't dead. Haha

Last month we went to the Philippines and Japan. We're back home since August 1st.

Hubby's resolve to live in Japan solidified. He is now trying hard to find ways to learn Japanese and land a job there. I, on the other hand, played dota the whole week last week. Man, oh man, I don't know what to do with my life career-wise. I don't even have one, lol.

I played peak today with nanako, chair, wave, mort, len (dc'd after 5 mins cuz of motion sickness) and lee-na. 

I woke up at 2 pm today. Bff still has boy problems but she has already decided to end it. It hasn't yet, but she's planning to.

Our plants survived even after leaving them unattended for a month haha

I should edit a new video for YouTube. At least just the toilet flush thing. Lol

Jun, our cat, sometimes gets startled by my farts. Kevin meows a lot when we sneeze. 

That's it for this post.

Just Out of Country

We arrived in the Philippines on July 5. Our flight to dvo was delayed for an hour. We got to look at the waterfall at the airport in changi. The restaurant at the airport was a bit stressful cuz we ordered using a qr code, not with the kiosks. So we waited for 20 minutes with our orders not being called at the display. He had to go up to the stand. They didn't receive any order from the qr code even though we paid. The wifi wasn't fast enough for me to spin the pokestops there tho.

When we arrived at the airbnb, it stank of pee. Damn. The room is only locked with a door knob. Imagine, we booked for 11 days in advance with no refunds. We stayed for two nights before he booked another at booking.com.

But then, when we got there, the room was unavailable. He had to call the unit owner and he helped us find another room. The guard was helpful. He called another person and she had to drive 45 minutes, so we had to wait. It was two days of Eevee community day. I wasn't able to get an Umbreon shiny :(

When the renter arrived, she showed us the room. She still had to clean it because there was a previous tenant. We left them to do it because we wanted to go to church at st. M's. 

I'm pretty sleepy rn so I guess I'll continue this next time. 

Just a Thought at 2:30 am

My aunt said that my dad used to want to be a priest. He should have done it so I wouldn't have to be born.

Just Felt My Heart Do a Thing

I uploaded this video and someone unsubscribed :(

https://youtu.be/6jSHsCQFL2Y

Just a Twitch Thought

I'm thinking of maybe just becoming a twitch streamer because I keep getting rejected by all the Ausbildung I'm applying for. 

Just June 2025

Yo, it's June. Before I forget to write a post for this month, I'm writing one now. 

My latest YouTube video, this one, has now the most views a video has ever gotten in my channel. It's over 4000 as of now. Wow. It might not be much for a lot of people, but for a small channel like mine, it's a big deal. I just wish I had more ideas to upload XD

Just Writing Down This Picturesque Dream I Had Just Now

I dreamt that I was on a trip. J. Ochigue, E. Alcos, and 6 or more other people were there. We were at a cliff or sth. I was afraid I would fall. There was this branch we could grab on to. But it turns out they weren't rooted, and just attached to each other, like sticks just put on holes. So I just tried not to fall. We were all tightly sardined. Then we wanted to go on our way. E. Alcos started to say a prayer or a poem that's religious that would help protect us. We were hiking on a suspension bridge. We were on a mossy cliff. There was this particular section on the wall ground that was so pretty I had to take a pic. I looked for my phone. Couldn't find it. Asked Eizu for his phone. I looked at his phone. Gave it back cuz I didn't know how to unlock it. I asked him to open the camera. He took a picture of me. I said no. I took a picture of the pretty section of the moss wall cliff. Bins wanted a pic. I took one.* Then we were walking and there was this very colorful and beautiful and pretty river, like glowing cyan water, with colorful fish jumping around. It was aaall soooo prettyyyyy. Maybe like astral ascent. I think I said what in the stardew valley as a comment in the dream. Then we were in a room like in a mall. There was this area where it was like a floating sea. The flish were floating in the air. The same fish from earlier. Bins and A. Adarna walked in the "water". It turns out it was a hologram of sone sort. I asked if it hurt them. They said no. For me it hurt my arm, triggering my cubital tunnel. Then to the left there were gacha machines. M. Guillermo and I excitedly went to that area in the store. Looked around for some good stuff. There was one machine with bananas. There was a small action figure of bad banana like I had back home. Above that were other banana stuff. I got excited. 5€-10€. I looked at my coins and it was all pesos. I was busy with the machine. Behind me there were rows of pupils, forming lines. The lady who looked like that sporty girl in m. Guillermo's brother's section, who was at the counter from the sea section, came to speak with everyone. It all started to get scary. There were kids with cigarettes. Naga pabadlong. The kids were getting hard to control. The noisiness. Lady didn't know what to do. She wasn't these kids' teacher. She started to get angry. Rose her voice a bit. Then there was a kid with a gun in his possession. I was scared. I stopped doing things with the gacha machine and took cover. There was a gunshot. It was the Lady who shot it up the ceiling. I woke up breathing fast.

There was a part of the dream where I think hubby and I at post sex were on the floor smoking cigarettes kinda naked. He stubbed out the cigarette on the floor (I didn't see this yet) then I stubbed mine. And there were ashes on the floor. That's when I was sure he did it too. 

After waking up all I could think was "sayanga sa picture oy" and I wished all the pretty parts of the dream were real. Decided to write it all down before I forget. I wanted to remember it.

*Bins and Eizu were above me hanging on a rope like bouldering ropes. 

Just Cut Out for This, But I Don't Want to Do It

Went to the Probearbeit today. Between 3 pm and 4 pm I was filing a black plastic thing into a square. I have no idea what that was for. Couldn't understand that well because of the language barrier. I was afraid to ask when they kept mentioning not to be.

In the morning we were sorting Anträge. Mailing sth. Throwing away boxes. 

I wanted to go home after taking my break. I wanted to go home because I was making too much noise. 

I feel like shit. The iwannakmsiwannadie feeling is here.

Just an Apprenticeship Interview

I guess this blog is where I share my videos. Here's one. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j7A2v0a1voI

Ich sollte mein Deutsch wirklich üben. Muss English vermeiden. Morgen habe ich eine Vorstellungsgespräch. Es ist eine Ausbildung zur Augenoptikerin bei Fielmann. Vielleicht kann ich hier schreiben, wie ich die Fragen beantworten kann.

1. Warum möchten Sie eine Ausbildung zum Augenoptiker machen?

Ich habe eine Leidenschaft für handwerkliche Arbeit. In meiner Freizeit, sowohl zeichne ich als auch bastele gern. Ich mag es, mit meinen Händen zu arbeiten, und ich bin überzeugt, dass ich diese Fähigkeit zu der Arbeit als Augenoptikerin beitragen kann. Ich habe auch erfahrung als Kundenservice Mitarbeiterin, deshalb glaube ich dass ich die Kunden gut betreuen kann.

2. Warum haben Sie sich für Fielmann entschieden?

Ich bin dafür interessiert bei Fielmann zu arbeiten, weil die Vorteile mich gefallen haben.

3. Was sind Ihre Stärken und Schwächen?

Ich lerne schnell, und arbeite präzis. Zum Beispiel habe ich Prüfungen bestehen, die ich am Vortag gelernt habe. Meine Schwäche ist mein Deutschkenntniss, aber ich arbeite schon daran. Gerade bin ich in einen Sprachkurs und es läuft derzeit gut.

4. Was wissen Sie über den Beruf des Augenoptikers?

Ich weiß dass sie Brillen erstellen. Sie machen Sehtests und beraten Kunden welche Brille zu Ihnen passt. 

5. Welche handwerklichen Fähigkeiten bringen Sie mit?

Ich bastele gern. Letzten Sonntag habe ich einen Drachen gebaut. Manchmal, wenn ich zerbrochene Dinge habe, versuche ich, sie zu reparieren. Ich habe es oft geschafft. 

6. Wie gehen Sie mit einem unzufriedenen Kunden um?

Mit unzufriedenen Kunden, weiß ich dass ich ruhig bleiben sollte. Dann nehme ich den Kunden ernst, und suche nach einer Lösung.

7. Ein Kunde möchte eine Brille, die ihm nicht steht – wie reagieren Sie?

Ich würde Ihnen erklären, dass eine andere Briulle besser passt. Aber falls der Kunden einen anderen Wunsch hat, würde ich ihn respektieren.

8. Wie reagieren Sie, wenn es im Geschäft sehr stressig wird?

Ich setze Prioritäten, ruhig zu bleiben, und im Team zu arbeiten.

Hier ist was ChatGPT korrigiert hat:

1. Warum möchten Sie eine Ausbildung zum Augenoptiker machen?

Ich habe eine Leidenschaft für handwerkliche Arbeit. In meiner Freizeit zeichne und bastele ich gern, weil ich es liebe, mit meinen Händen zu arbeiten. Ich bin überzeugt, dass ich diese Fähigkeiten in den Beruf als Augenoptikerin einbringen kann. Außerdem habe ich bereits Erfahrung im Kundenservice, sodass mir der Umgang mit Menschen leichtfällt und ich Kunden gut beraten kann.

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2. Warum haben Sie sich für Fielmann entschieden?

Fielmann ist ein bekanntes Unternehmen mit einer sehr guten Ausbildung. Besonders gefällt mir, dass Fielmann seinen Auszubildenden viele Vorteile bietet, wie eine hochwertige Schulung und gute Entwicklungsmöglichkeiten. Ich möchte in einem Unternehmen arbeiten, das großen Wert auf Qualität und Kundenzufriedenheit legt.

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3. Was sind Ihre Stärken und Schwächen?

Meine Stärken sind, dass ich schnell lerne und sehr präzise arbeite. Zum Beispiel habe ich Prüfungen erfolgreich bestanden, obwohl ich erst am Vortag mit dem Lernen begonnen habe. Ich kann mir Dinge gut merken und setze neues Wissen schnell um.

Meine Schwäche ist, dass mein Deutsch noch nicht perfekt ist. Aber ich arbeite aktiv daran, indem ich einen Sprachkurs besuche, und ich mache gute Fortschritte.

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4. Was wissen Sie über den Beruf des Augenoptikers?

Ein Augenoptiker hilft Menschen, die richtige Brille oder Kontaktlinsen zu finden. Er führt Sehtests durch, berät Kunden bei der Auswahl von Brillengestellen und passt Brillen an. Außerdem gehört das handwerkliche Anpassen und Reparieren von Brillen zum Beruf.

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5. Welche handwerklichen Fähigkeiten bringen Sie mit?

Ich bastele gern und habe ein gutes handwerkliches Geschick. Zum Beispiel habe ich letzten Sonntag einen Drachen gebaut. Außerdem repariere ich oft kaputte Gegenstände zu Hause – meistens mit Erfolg. Diese Fähigkeiten helfen mir, präzise und sorgfältig zu arbeiten.

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6. Wie gehen Sie mit einem unzufriedenen Kunden um?

Ich bleibe ruhig und freundlich, höre dem Kunden genau zu und versuche, seine Wünsche zu verstehen. Dann suche ich gemeinsam mit ihm eine Lösung, die ihn zufriedenstellt.

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7. Ein Kunde möchte eine Brille, die ihm nicht steht – wie reagieren Sie?

Ich würde dem Kunden freundlich erklären, warum eine andere Brille möglicherweise besser zu ihm passt. Dabei würde ich ihm alternative Modelle zeigen, die vorteilhafter für ihn wären. Aber wenn er sich trotzdem für sein Wunschmodell entscheidet, respektiere ich das natürlich.

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8. Wie reagieren Sie, wenn es im Geschäft sehr stressig wird?

Ich bleibe ruhig, setze Prioritäten und arbeite strukturiert. Außerdem ist mir Teamarbeit wichtig – wenn es stressig wird, unterstütze ich meine Kollegen und behalte den Überblick.

Just Small Progress

Another video, yay. 

https://youtu.be/18DALUco3AA

I keep looking up Ausbildung offers. Thankfully the Biologielaborant is still there. I hope it stays there until I get a reply from the emails I sent. 

If all else fails, I'll bite the bullet and apply at the hotel. I don't think I'd like that.

Second choice is Lagerlogistik. Why is this shit hard.

Tomorrow, I'll attempt to go to Heidelberg alone to get my prescription. I hope it doesn't go too bad.

Just that This is How It Goes, I Guess

New video uploaded today.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NPfF2I_bXnw

I don't know, man. I just... I don't know what to do as a job. I keep looking at Ausbildung lists. There's a lot of steps. And I imagine myself doing the job description. At first, I'm like, alright, it's doable. That seems cool in my head. And then, these flashes in my mind about posts of people being unhappy with a similar job. I mean, a job isn't always fun. And how can I even decide anything that hasn't even happened yet, and something that I haven't at least taken a step towards into. 

Anyway, husband just arrived. End post.

Just Uploaded Another Video Last Friday

 I don't think it's going too good. No one's watching it. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D91rPyrVci0

Yesterday, I went to church and prayed for some guidance. It was the presentation of child Jesus to the temple. There was a couple of kids present and it was a rare sight to see. 

The suicidal thoughts are there, but it's not as bad as before. It's still bad. This YouTube thing and the career thing. I'm getting older and the gap in my resume is getting wider and wider. It's already February. I should plan on what I want to do with my life here. 

Just Made a Channel Trailer

Like what the title of this blog post. Here it is.

https://youtu.be/MEyKaMAnxwM

Again, to any of you bots who are actually people who reads this, I hope you watch it 🥹 (kidding)

Just in Between Things

There's this flap at the corner front left of my mouth that I keep touching with my tongue. It's a little bit annoying. 

I'm trying to look for jobs now. There's so many things I want to buy and I want to do it with my own money this time. YouTube's not going too well. Who knows how long that would take. It will bum me out. I want it to work 🥹

I must lose weight. I'm more than 64 kg now. I should be 62 by the end of January. 60 by February. 59-58 by March. If we're trying to be more realistic, 63-January, 62-February, 61-March. All that hard work, man. I reached 54 kg once. My shin hurt. I rested. Damn. I was 57 kg this time last year. Ugh. That's 7 kg in a year. I just looked up 2023 too and I was 60.3 kg. So in a year, I can only lose 3 kg? But easily gain 7 kg? Wtf is this? I just stepped on the scale. 65. I'm sad. This is sad.

Anyway, I downloaded this game called Idle Slayer. I easily get and let myself be distracted lmao

Plans for videos:

First the channel trailer vid, then play ffxvi for a month and make a summary of the game within x seconds. I already started writing the script for the former. 

Have I written about Tenerife? Not sure. Let me check. I haven't. Welp. We went to Tenerife last December 12. His dad wasn't prepared. We weren't prepared for his dad. Long story haha went back on December 15.

Went to Lübeck for Christmas. It was cool seeing the Weinachtsmann tradition. The effort people do. I usually didn't care for this stuff.

Writing all this is making me feel down now. I'm already feeling a bit down before I started writing. I looked at some of the old blog posts for my script too. Some funny shit, man. The first time playing DotA2 post. That was some shit ahahaha funny how you're a different person after 7 years. Wow. It has been 7 years. Damn.

Just was Told to Write My New Year's Dream Down

 First dream after new years

There was a really long line to I forgot. To my classroom, maybe. 

J***-like teacher girl angry for some reason. Got more angry when something spilled on the floor. I tried to clean it, someone then sprayed an aerosol. She got more angry.

Dream shifted to Assumption, my first school. There was a girl. I think I was a guy. Some song being sung to her that breaks her heart. Another song called Para Sa'yo by Parokya ni Edgar to give her hope, to let her know someone likes her. 

Some sport being played. J*******'s lil bro playing takyan or badminton?

Time to go out of school. P**** gave junk food. I put it in my backpack. Sir C**** was inspecting bags as students went out. He saw the junk food. Told P**** about it. Everyone gathered in front of the gate to eat it, partly blocking the way of the people coming out of the gate. Sir C**** with a weirdchamp face (without the headshake)