Tuesday, June 26, 2018
Saturday, June 23, 2018
Just Want to Get Away
The trainer gave us a two-hour break. How should I use the time? I don't want to eat. The nap room's full. The guard won't allow us to lie down on the couch.
My stomach just grumbled but I could just ignore it. All I want right now is to go home. I don't know what I want in life.
How do I spend the remaining hour and forty-five minutes? My eyes are hurting because I don't blink that much. When I try to blink often, they would still hurt. When they hurt, they turn red.
Why am I still here? Why are we still here?
My eyes are dead. If I were watching myself from afar, I could tell that they are dead. I can't just try to revive them all the time when no one is even looking at me.
Talking bothers me. It takes out a lot from me. It's unpleasant. Why am I still here?
I don't want to be "here".
My stomach just grumbled but I could just ignore it. All I want right now is to go home. I don't know what I want in life.
How do I spend the remaining hour and forty-five minutes? My eyes are hurting because I don't blink that much. When I try to blink often, they would still hurt. When they hurt, they turn red.
Why am I still here? Why are we still here?
My eyes are dead. If I were watching myself from afar, I could tell that they are dead. I can't just try to revive them all the time when no one is even looking at me.
Talking bothers me. It takes out a lot from me. It's unpleasant. Why am I still here?
I don't want to be "here".
Monday, June 18, 2018
Just That Life Ain't All That Bad
I got a text from the guard that they found my wallet. I've not been feeling well all day, for different reasons. I wasn't affected that much about losing my wallet last Saturday but I could use some good news. Life isn't all that bad.
Saturday, June 16, 2018
Just Thought of This When My Feet Hurt as I Walked Home for Two Hours because I Lost My Wallet
If you treat someone fragile like they're weak all the time, how do they become strong? We develop callouses when our skin gets hurt repeatedly. People who are sensitive need to develop thicker skins so they wouldn't be hurt in the worst situations anymore, and they would only be able to do that if you don't treat them like they're babies all the time. When our feet hurt from walking barefoot, we don't cry about it. Our soles would thicken so they wouldn't hurt anymore the next time we do it. Like what people say, experience is the best teacher. How would a person get experience if you deprive them of it? When they are suddenly faced by a situation they are not prepared for, they would get overwhelmed and wouldn't know what to do.
Thursday, June 07, 2018
Just Saw a Facebook Post from a Classmate Whom I Haven't Seen in a Long Time
High school feels like it was a different reality, that it didn't happen in this timeline.
Saturday, June 02, 2018
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