Just a IDK

Ran out of title ideas lol

Last week, I went to Manila. I arrived on Saturday, October 14. The grab driver was from GenSan and couldn't get around well. I had to help him because the GPS was wonky. Went to eat at Gino's Pizza. Ok let's not talk about food now. It's currently 1:29 am. Video called with my fiancé and sister to help her with her interview on Tuesday that week. 

On Sunday, I met up with Hanna and Kristian. We ate at the Weekend Market (?). I had the salmon lasagna while they had burgers. We went to Greenbelt. Went to a café. I played some pokemon go. Had Kristian come back to play it, too. 

On Monday, I had the second take of the A1 exam. Why? Cuz the government only allows the certificate no older than one year. And I took it on October 13 last year. 

Couple mistakes I know I made:

1. Wrote "geheiratet" instead of verheiratet.

2. Said "öffne bitte das fenster aus"

3. Said "haben deine Wohnung Möbel"

I should get points for speaking German to the proctors before the exam even started.

Had dinner at the Jap resto with Hanna and Kristian. I was full from lunch and snacks so I was fine with ordering a small dish. It was smaller than my hand, lol. I don't think they liked going there. Went to another café after. Then to their apartment. Met Tom.

Something about Tom made me feel, sad, or melancholic, or idk. The way she had saliva on her cheeks because her mouth has this injury. Like, I'm not sure if she was a sad cat. Like she needed pats. And I was there to give it to her.

The next day, I flew home. Couldn't win any timburr showcase.

On Wednesday, water was out. Went out for the raid hour without a shower.

Thursday, I don't remember much. I probably took a nap after feeling suicidal.

Friday, watched anime with Yuta. Same with Saturday and Sunday. Went to church on Sunday :D there was a deacon with Fr. Tabiliran. I really prefer English mass. The choir is still and always so powerful. I also liked the deacon presiding the gospel and homily.

Today, I continued playing Melatonin. Got a few achievements. Then I continued editing the part 2 of the German speaking vid. I hope it turns out fine. I hope I can make a living out of this and that I could stop feeling so hopeless.

Just a Birthday.

It was my birthday up until 17 minutes ago.

Just Noting Down Symptoms Just in Case and for Documentation

Got my period last Wednesday. Yesterday, while I was lying on the couch, talking with Jack, I felt a pinching pain while my heart beat. Today. I've been having small chest pains. A little bit to the left side. Not sure if it's part of my period. I think I also started taking 100mg with my Lamotrigine last Wednesday? I'm not sure if the not so painful pain in the other parts of my body is worth noting. Anyway, I keep thinking that I don't want to get checked if I'm sick anymore. It would be good if I just died. No more thinking. No more tiredness. No more doing things just because.

(Also, he said that it might be two months before he gets an appointment for the obligation thingy. He's feeling down about it. Me, not so much. This trust in God is making me carefree.)

Just Trying to Be a Good Catholic

My hormones are peaking and I'm going to get my period soon. I've been aroused most of the day. I went to confession last Friday and when I was doing my penance I teared up a little bit because I felt relieved from the burden of guilt, and I was glad that God guided me and listened to my prayer. He has always been there when I'm not feeling too well with my faith. I went to the doc that day, too, and I wasn't sure if I would still even have the time to go confess, but the secretary told me to come to the doc's office earlier than I planned, and I was able to cross out all of the things I planned to do on that day, on my to do list. Anyway, I'm back to abstinence. I've done it up until I was 22 years old. I can do it again, especially with my faith in Him. 

Last Sunday, I woke up to Seiya's message about their break up and how I was a part of it. I believe he was just finding somewhere to take it out on. I want him to really reflect and open his eyes more. One shouldn't rely on one person for their happiness. One shouldn't really base their happiness on one relationship. He still has a whole life ahead of him. It's not the end of the world. Yuta met me when he was 27. I met him when I was 22. Anyway, I was having anxiety after that. I still have a little bit now. It's probably just exacerbated with my menstrual cycle that's coming soon. Maybe that's also why I'm feeling the arousal. Stress can cause arousal, and I'm not liking it, fam. I just try to breathe deeply. Breathing deeply is relaxing. I've got yoga to thank for helping me appreciate breathing more. 

Last week, I uploaded a video about me and Yuta speaking German. It got 3000 views! :D I didn't really expect that. I'm on the process of making a part 2, but I'm not sure how that would fare. Is fare the right word? Idk. It really put me in a really good mood. It's making me think that I've got a shot at making it. Who knows? Maybe God will guide me :3