Just Drew Too Much Snow

It doesn't look good so I'm posting it here instead of Facebook.

Just How Do They Do It

I don't know how people can keep talking for a long time even when they haven't heard a response from the person they're talking to. I'm talking about my mom for this instance. She just talks even when I'm not saying a word. But it's not just her. Other extroverted people. They just keep on talking, and I don't even see a chance to interject. Lol

Just Noting This Down for Future Reference

I set the blog to custom readers earlier to lessen the amount of bots in my stats.

Just Like How Tf

Before I wrote the previous post, I noticed there were some numbers by my posts. I then tried to look at the stats. I'm like how tf.

If you're not a bot or a scraping person or a virus or malware or a privacy issue, leave a comment lmao I am going to overthinking this.

Just Woke Up and Wrote Down This Dream

I was dreaming I took a white Chinese garter from a chair which was also caught up on the head of Leah, which made her cry. Hard. I tried to comfort her. "Do you want a hug?" I couldn't understand if her reply was a yes or no so I hugged her but she got upset so it was a no. I wanted to let her know that I know how it feels since I have bipolar disorder. She has a depressive persistence disorder. I forgot the actual term. I just woke up rn lmao. Anyway, she wouldn't want me to comfort her so I went upstairs into an attic or something. There was Bama there just hanging and I said I just wanted to take a nap there. So I pretended I was napping. I could feel that he was drawing me while I closed my eyes. There were people passing by the window. I may have forgotten details about the dream already but somehow the dream changed to me babysitting. I remember there were two people and one of them was a younger version of Joshua? And the other made Joshua and me compare my grandma and Tita Ogie? And that's how they made me babysit this one baby. And then they made me take care of this other baby that would fit if I hold my palms like this 🤲🏽 And there was shit on the floor. And the diaper needed to be changed and I woke up cuz I don't want that responsibility lmao

Just Distracting Myself from Feeling Randomly Depressed by Writing a Song

Everywhere they look for a degree

The good paying ones need experience

Can't find a good thing to do

Guess I'll suffer in silence

Employers don't value shyness

They don't like unassertive people

Don't know what I should work for

Skills are subpar above all

Money is so hard to earn

Why is it like this

I wish there was an easy way

Please tell me what it is

Doing office work sucks

Facing customers, I can't stand

I'm not cut out being a scientist

Guess I'll make an onlyfans

Just Last Week's "Highlights"

I have decided to write here every Monday. We'll see if I can keep this up. I think it can be good to keep a weekly journal just to see what I have been up to each time. It's also to make this blog less empty, not that there's anyone besides me reading it, lol.

Maybe I should format it in a way in which I write what the main highlight for each day of the week was? Let's try it for this post.

Tuesday, Sept. 5

I don't remember much, lol. I checked my photos and I have a picture of Beerus on my lap. I just checked my phone screen time on that day and I spent 9 hours and 24 minutes on my phone. I checked Google fit and it looks like on that day, I followed a Route in Pokemon Go, the Daang Matrapik.

Wednesday, Sept. 6

I just checked again and it looks like the paragraph was wrong and it was on this day I had Beerus on my lap. lol. There's a screenshot of Kartana so I guess this was the day I tried to make a raid group on Ottawa server but canceled it just because. 

It's a Wednesday, so there's a raid hour at 6 pm on Pokemon Go. I remember doing the daily incense up to NHA or the Seventh-day Adventist church? After that I walked from NHA to the intersection at Mamay, then to Damosa. Waited for the raid to start. I only participated in 1. I remember iPath****** tagging me on the gc for the second wave for me to join but I just sent the "peace" gif. I walked to the route again, I guess, because I wanted to keep a daily route streak. My screen time on the phone was 10 hours and 50 minutes.

I accidentally booked an appointment for the visa. I thought the website would let me choose a date after choosing when I think I would receive the complete documents. Turns out they'll email me with the date after submitting the form.

Thursday, Sept. 7

The laptop stand and the moisturizer that my partner ordered for me arrived. I caught a shiny "A" Unown. I was able to cancel the visa appointment that I accidentally booked. I watched two Pokemon shorts on Youtube. I guess I was feeling good about myself because I sent a few selfies to my beloved. He was working hard and did overtime.

Friday, Sept. 8

"I was about to dream we're gonna have sex in the shower, you pinning me against the wall, legs around your body and all, until i made myself wake up because of the ridiculousness of it all XD Before that i dreamt there were two birds perching on my head. Entered through my window"

Last package came while i was brushing my teeth and i had to go out in my towel.

Mom asked me to buy soy sauce, vinegar, salt, and dishwashing soap when I go out on my walk. I was contemplating about where to go. Should I go north or southwest? I went southwest first, made a route for PoGo, walked to the gym at NHA, and bought the stuff. I took a picture of cows on the way home. Dropped the goods off. Went out again to keep up the daily route streak. 

Could not hang out with him this day because he still had lots to finish at work.

Saturday, Sept. 9

Viewed a memory from 2015 on Facebook. It was about Urahara Kisuke's hat. I commented on how I got the hat last year with a  mirror selfie of me wearing the hat. 

One of the kittens died. I think because of Robin. I buried it.

I made another route from the gym across the subdivision to the deli restaurant. I also submitted a pokestop nomination for Leanzo's. Biked to Salome's to raid "D" unown. 

I found out that the family whom I raided in the car with was Davao Food Guide. Found out from Discord because they were making fun of them. 

Hung out with him. 

Sunday, Sept. 10

Went to church for the third Sunday in a row. Didn't go with sis this time, though, because she was sleeping. I beat the gym at the church. I was trying not to dissociate during mass. I want to go to confession but I guess it's only available before the 5:30 mass. After, my parents bought some stuff. I raided "P" unown. I invited some people, and iPath****** joined. Lol. I beat the gym at the intersection. I was worried I wouldn't be able to leave a Pokemon there, but they decided to pass through the other route in which the gym was in so I was able to do so.

Hung out with him. Told him I want to stop my meds. He says I could try, but not abruptly. I was planning to taper it anyway, so yeah, I only took half the dose of Lamotrigine.

Monday, Sept. 11

Today was slow. I interacted with the cats. Robin was making a move on the other kitty. We tried to make him wear the dog leash, but it was too big for him. I hid him in the room of the other building for a while. Long enough that he'd forget about the kitty. He's out now. I hope he doesn't do anything.

I played Governor of Poker, just like the previous days. I wanted to keep a daily streak of opening a game. I do it while listening to German music so I could at least do a little bit of immersion, opening the lyrics on the right side of the screen.

Played Pokemon Go. I don't like this game too much anymore. The competitiveness. I want to try not to care. I want to just be a casual player. But these dudes in the group chat, man. Idk. 

Ate some pasalubong from Bohol. My brother's gf was telling me the other day she was going there so the food came from her. Peanut kisses, peanute fingers, and the very delicious kalamay. 

Had rice today with mom's omelette. I want to stop trying hard on my weight loss, too. But let's not get too carried away with the less caring because we don't want to be above 60kg again.

I'm now thinking that I don't want to do this weekly; the highlighting of each day, I mean. It's too much effort to try to remember what happened that day. lol. It's better to write down immediately what happened during that day. Maybe not on Mondays too because it's so weird to write it during the beginning of the week.

Zoomy is 6 months old, I think. But to be sure, maybe next month is a good month to have him neutered. Beerus and Robin should be neutered next week or the next. 

My sister just asked me a question about German, like why it's "Ich versuche zu schlafen" yadda yadda and I don't feel like writing anymore so I'll just end this post for now.

Just Not Feeling too Meow Meow Today

Idk why I said meow meow. 

Living is so hard. Every girl has asked why they have to put up with periods. It has to be a monthly cycle. A monthly struggle. I felt a little suicidal yesterday and today. I also felt murderous. There's internal rage. Here I am contemplating on tapering with my meds and just come off of it without consulting with my doc first. I was planning on going down to 25mg after my period and then stop when I run out. The prescription was fully served already and I need to go back to get a new one, and that costs money. I just want to manage it on my own. I know this is a bad idea but fuck it. I'm living life naturally as a person with bipolar II disorder, as God intended (not really lmao). Oh yeah, speaking of, I went to church last Sunday and the Sunday before that. Two church going Sundays :D I need to go to confession so I partake in the holy communion. "Can't take the host if you have mortal sin," - that one nun who sat beside me that one time.

My ear is itchy. I think my foot has a fungus. I hate my life. Why does my period exacerbated a lot of stuff  ༎ຶ⁠‿⁠༎ຶ 

I think I'm done ranting for now.