Just Made a YouTube Channel

I made a YouTube channel because I don't know what to do with my life. I drew this for the thumbnail for the video I uploaded.

Also, here's the video.

https://youtu.be/O1rrqRBRDrE

Just Why Does Suffering Exist?

I've been fasting for 22 days now and I'm feeling depressed. A little bit. I still haven't gotten my period and it's bumming me out. I hate the pms symptoms. The body dysmorphia is making me hate myself a lot. I weighed 65.85 kg last Saturday. I fucking hate it. I want to below 60 kg. It's too fucking hard. I want to find a job too. The marriage visa is too complicated to see a clear date for it. Being uncertain with how much longer I'm gonna stay unemployed is bumming me out. I'm not earning anything.

I drew something two days ago and I still haven't colored it. It's supposed to be the thumbnail I've been thinking of uploading about that ily Portal 2 vid.

I hate the concept of experiencing inconvenience just to reach a reward. I hate it.

Man, it seems like I need meds again. Lmao. How long was the streak of being unmedicated? 

Earlier we went to abreeza to shop. Anyway.

I guess I need this blog again. I only come here when I feel like shit, right? I hate everything. ༼⁠;⁠´⁠༎ຶ⁠ ⁠۝ ⁠༎ຶ⁠༽

Just Changing the Title Because I Already Used Insert Title Here Before Lmao

Oh man, so I post not as often as I used to huh. But that doesn't matter much, since no one is reading this blog anyway, right? I usually have the will to write when I'm feeling like shit. I guess that doesn't happen as much these days. Is this the effect of love? Lol. I guess I really have changed. I haven't exercised since last month. It started from having one of my wisdom teeth pulled out. I worked out for a few days two weeks after that, but I didn't feel so good after I did so I stopped again. I am overweight now. I really want to be 50 kilos. The last time I have been that heavy was 2014. How do I undo all the weight I gained in those 8 years. Please don't tell me that it also takes that amount of time to lose it.

Anyway, there's a writing prompt in the Discord server to pretend to be an author and write a flattering description about yourself in the third person. I'll do that here in ten minutes, after my Big Stretch Macro Break.

I had this classmate back in high school. She was so mysterious, and quiet. She observed everyone from the corner. Heck, she might had already observed me observing her. I wonder what went on in that head of hers. She rarely talked, but when she did, she grabbed everybody's attention. After four years of being in the same class section together, she went from mysterious to weird. She didn't care, though. In fact, she rubbed it in your face if you were as normal as the generic brands that everybody buys. Now that we're adults, it seemed that she had some character developments. 

Yeah, I can't continue it anymore lmao. Writing is easy at the beginning. lol

So I'll be going to Manila next week to take the A1 German Certification exam. I hope I can pass it. From the Youtube videos I've been practicing with, it seems like I can manage. I hope I can do good. I don't want to waste my fiance's money. :') I'll be 25 on Sunday. It is one step closer to getting married. I am still unemployed, tho. Well, working makes me depressed. I guess it's better of this way for now.