Just a September Journal

So last week I went to Edeka to apply, but the hiring sign changed to a position I didn't want to apply for. I panicked, hid by the coffee section, texted my husband, telling him I want to come home (it's just a 10 min walk), picked up his Amazon package at the post, and cried in his arms when I got home.

I want to earn money to buy stuff, but every time I take a step towards getting a job, I get depressed. 

Have I mentioned that our trip to Japan last July solidified my husband's resolve to live there? Now he has plans to be there in 6 months. He's studying his Japanese intensively. I just got my school certificates recognized Annerkenung) because I was thinking of getting an Ausbildung, which usually lasts for 3 years. I was self studying German for a long time (still am). Am I supposed to think that all of those were all for nothing? Am I supposed to focus on Japanese now?

Anyway, I clicked on an ad from Duolingo. Two, in fact. First was Finch, a productivity app. I was really productive during the first week of using it. I guess it made me be consistent with learning German, too. The second one was Mimo. It's like Duolingo, but for programming. It's fun. I'm learning. A lot of it is reviewing what I learned from years ago. Maybe I could work as a programmer? I'm considering it a bit. I guess I just need to finish the course. 

My left ear hole is really itchy. It's been 7 years now. Ugh.