Saturday, June 23, 2018

Just Want to Get Away

The trainer gave us a two-hour break. How should I use the time? I don't want to eat. The nap room's full. The guard won't allow us to lie down on the couch.

My stomach just grumbled but I could just ignore it. All I want right now is to go home. I don't know what I want in life.

How do I spend the remaining hour and forty-five minutes? My eyes are hurting because I don't blink that much. When I try to blink often, they would still hurt. When they hurt, they turn red.

Why am I still here? Why are we still here?

My eyes are dead. If I were watching myself from afar, I could tell that they are dead. I can't just try to revive them all the time when no one is even looking at me.

Talking bothers me. It takes out a lot from me. It's unpleasant. Why am I still here?

I don't want to be "here".

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