Just Letting It Flow, Whatever "It" Is

Sometimes I feel like there's nothing that can tear me. Sometimes I feel like it's getting tiring to live.
Sometimes I don't know how often sometimes is. Sometimes I don't know whether to use "sometimes" or "most of the time".

Maybe I should stop using sometimes.

The whole universe feels like it's conspiring against me.
I'm trying to feel good, but they succeed in knocking me down.
There isn't really a "they". It's just in my head. I don't even go out.

Why do I feel like writing mostly when I feel down? Why can't I write about being up more? I don't like being a downer.

Maybe it's the lack of sleep talking. Maybe it's just hormones. Maybe I'm right. I must be right.

Maybe I should just sleep. I wish to not wake up when the sun is up. We know that won't be true. Wishes are almost always impossible to be made possible. Wishes are too complicated to be made true. People make the most impossible wishes. That's why they almost always never come true.

I'm sad. I'm going to sleep while sad.