Just Need to Talk About It

Germany has been fun. I arrived last May 15th. It wasn't smooth. I'm not sure if I mentioned the frustration of how the bureau rejected me. Anyway, all of that got sorted and we were able to get the missing requirements. I'm in Germany now, yeah. 

A lot has happened. I'm just focusing on my thoughts right now. I can't sleep. Lol. And when I can't sleep, I have the fantasy of putting a gun in my head. I just left the bed now and I'm on the couch typing this on my phone. He's probably still awake too. I think he could sense that something might be wrong. I don't want to talk to him right now since it's sleeping time. He must be tired, too. A part of my energy always gets lost when he focuses on something else and couldn't hear what I'm saying. I try to be understanding about it, though. Maybe that's also why I'm drained and can't sleep now. Maybe I should really talk about this with him, too. I don't really like confrontations. Is now the right time? It's 12:21 am, so probably not. I'll just distract myself now and hope the quetiapine already kicks in so I could already sleep.