Just Ikigai

Well, I guess Blogger is almost dead now. I don't know how to find other blogs anymore. Also, the ones I follow aren't active, too. I guess my own blog is also starting to get less active, with fewer posts each month and year. 

Earlier, I randomly thought of ikigai. I've heard people mentioning it before. I thought it meant it was your reason to live. After that, I thought about him being my ikigai. I decided to look it up if what I was thinking was correct. It turns out, it wasn't so. Ikigai is leaning towards purpose, career-wise. I'm still figuring that part out. The first thing that comes to mind is music. It's a slight passion. But how can I make a living out of it? Should I start uploading covers on YouTube? A lot of people already do that. I want to make songs that help the world better. It's easier said than done. I can't just come up with original melodies from within me. It's easier to come up with drawings. Maybe I should draw after the song I made? I should do more research. The article I read did say to do research for it.

I'm glad I can still post here. I'm glad that my blog isn't dead. I'm glad even if no one reads this. I'm glad if it's only me who does. 

Every time I'm starting to think about stuff, I just take a deep breath, or just ground myself and stop thinking. That's what I found out what you should do, so you don't get depressed. It takes practice. But I'm heading there. There are still some negative thoughts here and there, when hormones fluctuate. But still, I've come far, I guess.

Also, it's already May. The embassy could reply any time now. I wish they already would. I want to move out. I want to be with him, and find out if I could have music be part of how I make a living there. Music and art are the only ones that come to mind. Should I go to music school or art school? Is there a program where I can do both? I hope I don't get too stressed out about this.