On another note, I don't want to admit it, because of how ridiculous it is, but I guess if I have to use words for it: I'm feeling guilty about... I guess particularly about the dream I had last night. It was kind of a sweet interaction like him being nice again, and at that time we were flexing our German skills to each other?
The scene was in a classroom, so I know after that there was this female teacher tasking us to do some yoga? I'm not sure anymore. And then, I dreamt of being bipolar again, that I couldn't do it, that I walked out of the classroom to take a walk as a coping mechanism, and then I had an argument with a male coworker of the teacher's, but he wouldn't let me finish my point before he started his argument and I was so pissed that I woke up because I didn't want to listen to his bullshit.
Anyway, last Sunday, it didn't help when my sister was doing teasing sounds while I was being confused by the in game gift he gave me. Now I'm noticing that I'm saying his name often when my sister and I are having a conversation. I do not like what is happening. She teased me being kilig, too.
And I want to talk about this with my fiancé but I don't want him to feel bad or to feel jealous. Because I am committed to him and he knows that.
I guess I can say that this guy likes me, but not romantically. I just don't like how confusing his niceness is. I don't have any intention of liking him, too. I shouldn't really feel bad about all of this, right?
What I want to do right now is to just stop thinking about it and let a few days, or even weeks, pass so it would just be yesterday's news. I'm just agonizing over this because it's still just fresh. And it doesn't help when I keep checking and looking into it over and over again. It's me who's gonna look stupid if I keep this up, when it's just nothing to him after all.
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