I don't have that many people I could talk with, and when I find myself absolutely no one I could tell anything with, I come to this blog and type it out. When I'm done writing a blogpost, the emptiness still remains and so I search for anything to distract me with. I have a lot of musical instruments now. I use them. I have a lot of art materials. I make art. I have a lot of books. I read them. Sometimes, I want to distract myself but I can't find any motivation to do the usual stuff I do. I just sleep it off then. If I can't sleep, I'll just let my thoughts consume me. I still don't understand how my mind betrays me every now and then when I'm doing the necessary stuff I have to do so it won't do that.
My mom agreed to let me go back to college again. I was psyched. Now, I'm not sure if I can handle it because my brain keeps making plans of my death. Lol I don't think I'll die though. I tried. I'm quite invincible at the moment. Jinx is a real thing, isn't it?
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