Just Expecting It

I'm probably gonna fail my final exam tomorrow for integral calculus. Is it my fault? Yeah, maybe. I didn't try hard enough, did I? Am I gonna blame it on many factors? Am I gonna blame it on my bipolar disorder? Did the professor teach enough? Did he provide enough resources and examples? Am I just stupid? Is it because I complain too much? 

Even if I fail, I'm not going to enroll for next semester, anyway. Would I still like to pursue this career in the future? Am I gonna be enjoying what I'm going to do without the degree? I'm miserable studying. Maybe it's the online environment. Maybe it's the school's hectic schedule. Maybe it's the program that's too hard. I don't know. I always don't know. It makes me feel stupid. 

Kami-sama, please, help me.