Just the Second Night of Being Unmedicated

I mostly played Dota today. I wanted to do the laundry but the washer's broken. Kept giving the dc error. I'm struggling to fall asleep immediately. I just fantasized about my death. Sipping some chemical in the woods. Wondering if should I really or could I really do it to him. What would happen if I died in Germany. This has made the lack of will to live fantasies complicated. There's always the option of dying in the ocean so it would be my coffin. I finished listening to the audiobook of Flowers for Algernon last night. I cried so much. Thinking about it now is making me sad. I'm going to eat now.