Just Going to Sing the First Line of The Sound of Silence

I feel really crappy. I thought I would feel better when I wake up but everything feels like shit. I usually feel better in the morning. Now, I don't. Maybe I'm getting my period soon. Hormones always make me feel shitty. Why is the agony longer now? Two weeks ago, I was all euphoric. This week, I want to kill myself. I keep getting memories back in my psychotic daze. People ask the most private questions and I answer them, even though it would make me feel bad. When chatting, I end up speaking out things that probably shouldn't, but probably better if I did. My death joke tally is getting high, that it kind of doesn't feel like they are jokes anymore. Maybe I'm just saying all of these because I'm getting my period soon. It sucks that this is all because of some womanly cycle that is natural. It's like you are born just to suffer. People would think I'm optimistic because I'm always smiling. I hate people. Maybe I wouldn't say these crap next week. Maybe I would think otherwise in the later days. Maybe I would take all of what I said back. I say maybe a lot because nothing is certain. Only death is certain, but we aren't certain when. We just know that we die in the end, but we couldn't tell what time or date that ould be.