Just Wondering How It Would Feel Like

I keep imagining the manner of my death. Most of the scenes consist of my attempts of killing myself. I keep imagining what death would feel like. I like to think of the feeling somewhat is alike to the feeling before you were born. Nothingness. You did not know you existed before your birth. Maybe that is how death is like. I'd like to believe in life after death. But thinking of it now, to go on even after dying is tiresome. Who would like to be conscious forever? If life after death is the same as how life is now, but without the bad stuff, I'd rather not. I would prefer the feeling or the state we had before we existed. Try to remember anything prior to your birth. You can't, can you? Maybe that is what death is like, too. Maybe life after death does not exist. I could be wrong. I have no basis for everything I have said. I'll still continue praying for the dead, though.