Just Another Letter I Sent Out in Bottled

This letter isn't for you but for someone I don't want to talk to.

Hey,

I'm sorry but I have to be away for awhile. I can't bear it. I might destroy everyone around me. Everybody needs a break, and I really need it right now.

I also don't want to bother you because I know you also have your own thing going on. I know you need me, too, but I can't breathe. I'm suffocating. I do a lot of holding back and every time I release a bit of the tension, you seem to belittle it and disregard it. It kills me.

I'm going down in a nosedive, after ascending slowly and reaching the peak. This nosedive seems to take longer than when I was climbing up, even feels deeper from where I started, like the impact to the ground is strong enough to push me further down to the core, or maybe an abyss.

I'm looking at the mosquito at my window now. It's trying to go out but the screen is blocking it from doing so. I want to swat it so it won't bother me later when I'm lying down. But I'm too lazy. And I'll just miss. I can't kill it like I can't kill myself, even after a few attempts.

Now there's three of them mosquitoes. I'm just blabbering on some nonsense now I better go back to my point in this letter.

So yeah I can't talk to you for awhile. I know you'd understand. I feel like you're used to me disappearing from time to time.

I'm okay. I just really need to be away and regenerate. It could take long. I just hope when I come back, you won't change the way you feel about me. I have the urge to never come back, though. Like end it. Who knows what I would do? I'm unpredictable as fuck.